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12 June I guess I May As Well Get it Out of the Way NowWell I guess its about time I started talking about it, so here goes. Well, since the break up of my marriage and a particularly unpleasant relationship short but not very sweet, I have discovered something that I have for a long time suspected. Basically, I do not like men very much.
I have often made jokes in a tongue in cheek way, for many years, along the lines of I would become a lesbian only I don't fancy women, well, recently the light has turned itself on, and I have at last admitted that not only do I fancy women, I want only to be with another woman in a relationship way.
Since my awakening to a rainbow styley way, I have had a couple of short - mm well not sure I would call them relationships, but for the want of a better word, I will use it - relationships with women, and its been wonderful. Everything that I have been looking for in a hetrosexual relationship has been there, and I am just sorry that I had not questioned my sexuality sooner. Lets face it I have had a number of opportunities, but in each situation I have been in a relationship with a guy and I hate infidelity, so I never ventured down that road, and now I look back Goddess, I wish I had, as the women in question were lovely, and I would love to be in a position to meet them again, but alas, I cant see that happening. So what to do.
My, encounters have been very much undercover as well as under the covers, as the Island is a very small place and I am not ready to come out to my friends and family yet, and also, I have not managed to find anyone I really like on the Island, they have been people who have been visiting the Island, or I have met online and they have come over, but due to various things they haven't worked out, long distance relationships are not really very easy. And although I know where to go, I am pretty sure I will not meet who I am looking for in a club or pub. I am not really one for one nighters, and to me that seems to be what most over here are looking for. Now, please if there are any Manx lesbians/bisexuals on the Island and they happen to be reading this, feel free to put me straight on this as a nice relationship with a local girl/woman, would be perfect, and would be and inducement to come out officially.
Trouble is, I have met someone online who I really like, but being relatively new at this game I am very wary of being upfront and telling them how I feel as the last thing I want is to spoil a great friendship by admitting my feelings if they do not feel the same way. So I need advice, what do I do??? I really want to be with someone, but I am not making a point of looking, but should someone come along then maybe the online thing would just remain a friendship, which would be a shame as I am sure we would be perfect together, but at the moment it seems to be a bit of a dead end.
So how do I get involved in 'the scene' in a discreet manner, help, please someone, gotta lot of love to give, but am afraid to offer it to the woman I would like too and can't seem to find anyone near here who I like. A quandry indeed, I am sure getting guys wasn't this hard. So if there are any people who can help me with my predicament, please, please get in touch!!!!!
Oh and question of the day, why did I put this in the heading Health and Wellness? Well, basically because I couldn't find anything else that was remotely suitable!!!! TrackbacksThe trackback URL for this entry is: http://celticmaidx.spaces.live.com/blog/cns!2678B39E4D9F1C56!542.trak Weblogs that reference this entry
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